Sucker hole is a term I learned when I lived in Telluride. It’s when the weather is terrible and the sky is dark, but you look out of one corner of one window of your house and you see a tiny patch of blue sky. While you had previously decided to bag your plans to ski or hike in hopes of a blue bird day - gasp! - the weather has turned! The clouds are breaking!!! You are going out after all!!
You rush to collect your gear and make the most of the time you have....only to find that you have fallen for the sucker hole. There is really just that one tiny patch of blue and it has already been engulfed in the impenetrable cloud cover. You are dressed and out there though, so you proceed in spite of it and hope that a couple more sucker holes might grace you with a flicker of their hope.
I found that those days inevitably had hidden treasures waiting for a little leprechaun (me) to find them. Firstly, fewer people are out, leaving you with wide open peaceful space. If the rain did indeed stop, the light was incredible and the colors seemed to jump off of their perches into the biggest bear hug for my eyes.
I had this experience on Mother’s Day. My life is changing really fast right now in some pretty big ways, and I was feeling pretty exhausted from days of celebrations. I knew that I needed exercise, but also felt unmotivated. The weather had been fairly crappy for days. I took the dog out for a quick walk and realized-I didn’t need a jog, weights, or intervals. I needed a hike. Alone. Not even the dog. I needed to be responsible for no one, at my own pace, with no conversation.
It started pouring as I opened the car door at the trailhead. I pulled up my hood and started to march.
It was magical from the first step. The sweat felt exhilarating. The air was alive in a way I couldn’t feel an hour before. I met a blind dog with the biggest smile on his face picking his way down the steep steps of Mt. Sanitas.
I have decided that the sucker hole is where I thrive. Picking my way along, unsure of what is to come, but feeling empowered because I choose to go anyway.
I can get pretty bogged down with change. Fear of the unknown wraps it’s tentacles around me in a way that makes me feel tethered. Yet when I actually try, I can fairly easily break free and just flow through the water, letting the current guide me.
The last time I went through a big change like this I got to change careers and pursue a dream. I got to find out what it means to love your job and your work. I got to choose yes over and over and over again. Starting out was terrifying. I couldn’t yet see the view from the mountain top. I can see it now though, and I hope I always remember how good it feels. I am choosing to go, rain or shine. I am choosing yes to adventure, even if it’s scary. I am living in that sucker hole!
The lessons that I am learning from this sucker hole are these. Firstly, move. Move consistently. Move whether you want to or not. When you don't want to move, likely you need it more than ever.
Secondly, when the opportunity doesn't seem ideal, maybe there is actually a different opportunity that could be just as good or better presenting itself. If you are open to exploring it, the payoff could be huge.
Secondly, when the opportunity doesn't seem ideal, maybe there is actually a different opportunity that could be just as good or better presenting itself. If you are open to exploring it, the payoff could be huge.
